My Name is My Name - No Brainwashing Was Involved
Ever since the whole diversity thing came into our lexicon and world, heck, even before, I’ve been hearing people talk about how it was bad that immigrants and children of immigrants not use their cultural names. Why? How is it that people are losing their identity just by changing or adopting a different name in their new country or by giving their children a name in the language spoken in the new country is brainwashing or giving up a part of their culture? And isn’t telling them what to or not to do more or less what you’re preaching AGAINST? Didn’t most people leave their old country because they want to be able to decide what they can and can’t do? I’m really confused.
I wasn’t going to write about this today, but I really feel it needs to be addressed. You see, the other day, someone posted on their Threads account that they always asked their nail tech what their “real” name was and didn’t think they should be using their “fake” (i.e. the name they decided to use when they emigrated) name. While the name the tech is using for work might not be “official,” it’s very much part of their identity, and therefore, “real.” And with “Cynthia” being my legal name (I was born Cindy, but HATED it, so I changed it when I was in my early 20s, in time to graduate from university with it), it’s more than “real.” I DO have a Chinese name as well, and that, too, is part of my legal name. But it’s my middle name and most people don’t use their middle name day-to-day. If you asked me what my “real” name was, I would say Cynthia. Pressing me to reveal my cultural name would be worse than asking me where I’m “really” from. Unfortunately, people don’t seem to get that. And it’s almost always a certain segment of society. Can’t they see it’s annoying? And don’t bother going on and on about how “beautiful” one’s name from the old world is, because people can read between the lines.
If we’re going to be okay with diversity and inclusion, why are people trying to change others? Why are they trying to tell others what to do, to stick with their old culture, even if they’re making a personal choice to adapt? It’s not like they’re completely washing themselves from the old world. It’s just a name, people. And for many, it’s just another part of who they are. Just because they’re Jennifer at work doesn’t mean they’re no longer Ling. Maybe they’re a fan of J.Lo or Jennifer Aniston. And if the person doesn’t have an accent, chances are, Jennifer IS their real name. If someone asked me about Cynthia, trust me, I’ll go “Karen” on them (apologies to all the Karens out there). Me being “Cynthia” or Ling being “Jennifer” isn’t about colonization or decolonization. It’s personal choice. It’s like women who like wearing makeup and other beauty products (*raises hand* - I’m NOT ashamed to admit that I have a Sephora problem). It’s like those so-called “trad wives” who make social media videos. I highly doubt they’re all being “forced” to do what they do. Plus, if they’re truly traditional, they wouldn’t even BE influencers. Because influencers make money, meaning they have a job. And traditional wives don’t make money for the family.
As you can tell, I’m tired of people like that. And I’m not the only one. There’s a reason why some people are becoming more conservative. It’s because people don’t know where to stop. It’s actually really disgusting how far some people have gone. It makes my eyes roll each time. And the problem is, people who agree with me (and there are A LOT out there. And NO, we’re not crazy right wing enthusiasts) are afraid to speak up. Don’t erase our identity. Why don’t people get it? It’s gross!