Underappreciated At Times: How I'm Doing At 45 and Change
So here we are in February. I’ve been 45 for nearly six months. These months have been decent so far. I mean, my little guy is doing fairly well academically from an academic standpoint and my second book is nearly complete. But what about other things? Well, life can be stressful. I’m cooking most meals, and sometimes, I feel that my effort is under appreciated. The guys in my life just don’t eat most things. Well, they’ll have the protein (especially if it’s animal protein), but nearly always ignore the vegetables. And most recently, my son complained that we eat chicken and turkey too much. Well, I don’t really cook beef. Partly because I’m no good at it and also because I don’t really like it and don’t want to make two different things (I’ll do it during Lent on Fridays (maybe) since my husband doesn’t like fish). I DO do convenience meals - frozen gnocchi tossed with other frozen items (I have a HUGE bag of frozen uncooked, unseasoned chicken tenders as well as bags and bags of frozen produce, meatballs, burger patties and fish…which only my son and I eat. Cans and jars of legumes (which again, only my son and I really eat) and other things…if that counts at all) but our house stays away from instant mac and cheese or ramen. I didn’t grow up eating them. We were pretty “clean” for the 80s and 90s. It’s just how things were and ARE for us. Thing is, I plan my menu out in advance, only making some slight changes. It’s just upsetting.
I get that this isn’t unusual for most mothers. I hear it all the time. Here on Substack and elsewhere online. And as a boymom, I don’t think this does ANYTHING to expand the definition of masculinity (at least my little guy likes baking with me!). My dad would probably ask me why I don’t just get more help with meals. As in paid help. But the thing is, it’s very hard to explain recipes to people - especially if there’s a language challenge. And then there’s me actually LIKING being in the kitchen. I also follow a lot of recipe developers (I’m a subscriber to
as well as (the latter’s substack is vegetarian) as well as Eden Grinshpan and really WANT to try their recipes out, so even if I DID have help, it would likely be things the guys DON’T want to eat (e.g. vegan meals or fish) and want to try their recipes out. I’m not sure if my dad fully understands this. I just know that neither of my parents are fans of my food. They may not outright say it to my face, but they find it weird. Probably a cultural thing. I guess I should take this to my therapist.But there IS good news. My son is reading pretty well for his grade level. We’re reading chapter books together now. I’m happy to say that I’ve introduced him to Beverly Cleary! To help him relate to her books better, we’re starting with the Henry books opposed to Ramona. And it was fun to explain what pay phones are and why Henry’s mom was okay with him to ride the bus alone at the age of eight. He still prefers non-fiction over fiction if he’s reading independently, however. I don’t think I’ve seen him read fiction on his own, to be honest. I guess it’s something we need to work on (tips, anyone?). I may introduce him to Judy Blume next. He’s no Peter. He’s more Fudge. Childhood memories, huh? I’m not sure I’ll be able to get him to read Blubber or Are You There God…(and yes, I still need to see the movie). MAYBE Sheila, but that’s only because I’m getting him to read Peter/Fudge stories. His piano playing is improving too. Now if I could only convince him to participate in the teacher’s recital in the spring…..The school talent show is a firm no. The thing is, he’s better than he thinks he is!
And I guess there’s me. I’m taking tennis lessons again. I hadn’t played since November of 2023 due to health reasons (related to the surgery I had in June) and I’m a little rusty. I’m doing private lessons right now, but I really want to get into group classes so I could meet people. Maybe in the spring! Morning classes, after drop-off would be PERFECT!! My book is also coming along - I’ve uploaded the cleaned up draft and the next step is the actual layout. I want the text embedded into the images this time around. It makes more sense this way and it’s easier for the reader to understand/know who is speaking. I’m not going to reveal too much of the story, but WILL say that it’s another Tory and Andy book. I’m considering a third book, but may target slightly older readers (i.e. an early chapter book). That’s pretty much it for me.
Readers, I hope YOUR January has gone well!